…And now the rest of the story!
“I’ll have you know that I have suffered from rejection many times!”, interjects Charmy. “I once craved a chocolate milkshake and the fast food joint was out of chocolate. I had to settle for a vanilla milkshake”.
“I would love to have an option to settle on”, explains Turtle. “Women have no idea I exist”.
“Oh, they know you exist”, Charmy reassures Turtle. “Believe me, there are tons of fish in the sea. You just need the right bait”.
“Bait?” asks Turtle.
“Yeah, bait attracts the fish to your hook”, explains Charmy. “Once they get hooked, you’ve got yourself a girlfriend. We just gotta work on your attraction.”
“Cool!” exclaims Turtle. “Can you help me become more attractive?”
“Sure!” confirms Charmy. “Remember, women are not interested in looks”.
“Well that explains your success!”, says an excited Turtle.
“Yeah, you need to check you subscription on those lenses”, grumbles Charmy.
Charmy continues, “What we need to do is work on your conversation skills. Let’s pretend I am a hot, sexy girl. What do you open a conversation with?”
“I don’t!” reveals Turtle. “I would never talk to anyone other than Frenchy”.
“Well, pretend I am Frenchy.” requests Charmy. “What do you open your conversation with?”
“I killed a rat in the lunchroom today!” says Turtle.
“Gross! What are you talking about?” yells Charmy. “You do not open up a conversation with a girl with that. Women want to be intellectually intrigued.”
“Oh”, reacts Turtle.
Charmy braces his arm onto the bar as suggests, “Try something that will open a conversation. Open with a shared interest. State something intriguing. Say something like ‘Did you catch the Mandorium Meteor Shower last night?’ “
“That is a great opening line!” admits Turtle.
“Yes, it is”, Charmy agrees. “Then you talk about the shower and end by saying the twinkle in those meteors is nowhere near as beautiful as the glimmer in your eyes.”
Holy crud, that is awesome!”, says Turtle. “I am going to try this opening line on her”.
Turtle gets up from the bar and sits down at a young lady’s table.
“Hi! My name is Turtle”, says a confident Turtle. “Say, did you catch a shower last night?”
“What? Why? Do I smell or something?”, asks the young lady.
“No! Gosh no!” Says Turtle. “I am just trying to open up a conversation with a shared interest.”
“Gross!” says the young lady. “Did YOU not take a shower last night?”
The scene cuts back to Charmy. We see Turtle sadly walking into frame and sitting back at the bar alongside Charmy.
“How’d it go Turtle?”, asks turtle.
“The meteors crashed and burned”, said Turtle.